The government tells us the recession is over, but how can we be sure? Here are some signs that happy days are here again and our streets might once more be paved with gold:

1. America has enough money for a regular government AND a shadow government.

2. The Unemployment Office got rid of the velvet rope and the doorman.

3. Alan Greenspan spotted running naked through the streets shouting "Eureka!"

4. Kidney buyers now outnumber kidney sellers on e-bay.

5. The Food Network has cancelled its "Ready, Set, Cook with Cat Food!" show.

6. Spending on frivolous crap is back up to 1998 levels.

7. Okay again for kids to want to be something when they grow up.

8. I stopped looking at my obese friend and imagining a hamburger.

9. American Express has shelved plans to introduce the Recycled Aluminum Card.

10. The homeless are wearing last season's fashions instead of clothing from three or four seasons ago.

11. Bush girls are again flush with rolled-up hundred-dollar bills.

12. The New York Stock Exchange took the "Everything Must Go!" sign out of their window.

13. Taco Bell no longer holding out for applicants with business degrees.

14. Bill Gates no longer cutting out coupons for private islands.

15. That tightwad Dick Cheney actually paid for a round of drinks the last time he partied with the Enron guys.

16. Guys who wear barrels now wearing barrels purchased at Restoration Hardware.

17. 40% more people are hearing that "Cha-ching!" sound in their heads.

18. I'm moving into a bigger car

(cortesia de Comedy Central)