CREAMY WOODNESS

The world's first topical treatment for erectile
dysfunction has been unveiled in Hong Kong, giving an
intriguing new treatment option to impotence sufferers, and
at least 70 new punchlines for funnyman Bruce Vilanch.

The new medicated cream, branded "Befar," promises a safer
and quicker treatment for impotence than Viagra. Although
many sex experts say releasing it in "Stinging Menthol"
form might be uncomfortable for your partner.

Befar uses a derivative of Alprostadil. Alprostadil has
been used to treat erectile dysfunction for several years
around the world, but until now has been administered via
injection directly into the penis, after romantically
slapping the penis to find the vein.

Alprox-TD works by widening the blood vessels in the penis,
allowing it to be engorged with blood. But users of
Alprostadil have reported side effects including persistent
erection, known as priapism, in which erections can become
painful after lasting several hours, but can provide more
options for hanging out the laundry.

Unlike most alternatives, Alprox-TD reportedly begins to
cause an erection within minutes, or about three minutes
after your partner says, "Never mind, I have to get up
early anyway."

Courtesy of The Daily Show